Friday, March 13, 2009

My Secret Bike

Coupla months ago, I ran across a really good deal on Craigslist - on a time trial bike. I need to state for the record that I wasn't actively shopping for a bike. (Please back me up on this if you see my wife.) I didn't want to be hanging out in the bike section of CL. But since I was already there, it wasn't like I could ignore the ad - I've invested a lot of time and energy in my promising racing career over the last two months, and I don't think it's right that one relatively inexpensive piece of used equipment should be holding me back from realizing my full potential.

So anyway, I offered the guy just a little more than he was asking, and the bike was mine. It wasn't until I was just about home that panic struck. I didn't have anywhere to hide it. I tore my garage down last fall, and there was no place in the house that Patty wouldn't see it. Holy krap, I was toast! But then I remembered that I had forgotten that we are renting a storage container . . . that she never opens! Whoa, that was a close call.

For quite a while, I've been visiting my Secret Bike when I can, always in the dark secrecy of the cold winter nights. I've leaned it lovingly against the ladder, just behind the table saw.

With the Frozen Flatlands time trial less than a month away, something had to give. Tonight, after weeks of tormenting guilt, I finally came clean. I explained the many reasons that buying this bike made so much sense. She thought for just a minute and then calmy said, "Well then we'll have to get rid of one of your other bikes. You have too many already." This is not what I wanted to hear - I've assembled this collection with great deliberation.

My plan is to stall as long as possible. If we can just get past this, everything will be okay. Because I am certain that this is the last bike I will ever need.

On the one hand, I feel so relieved. On the other, I can't seem to relax. I need to figure out how to explain my new Secret Helmet before UPS delivers it next week.


Hank Greer said...

Bummer. Is this what they mean by "reap the whirlwind"?

So which bike are you getting rid of? How much do you want for it? I figure I could hide it in the...oh, wait.

Anonymous said...

Pat, there's comes a time when a man has to take control of his relationship and assert his primacy.

In other words, it is time to beg, bargain, and bribe.

Jacque Hendrix said...

Ooo! One of the Lifetime Members For Life has a bike for sale. How exciting. If *I* buy it can I hide it at your house?

Jacque Hendrix said...

And the helmet...that things even sexier than my wings.

Anonymous said...

I respect you for unabashedly supporting your passion. I envy your guts at buying a pricey item without your wife's input. I even applaud your find, stashing, and "coming clean". However, there's no way I want to be you right now, 'cause, boy, you're in for a world of hurt!

BTW: How did you get the checkbook out of your wife's purse?

AND: My wife says I can't hang out with you anymore. I guess you're a bad influence...