This Is Personal

The other day, I posted a sort of generic, euphoric note of thanks. I needed to get something out there just to say thanks in a kind of a lame way, because I knew it would take some time and perspective to put something together that was befitting of the energy and emotions of this event. I'm slowly getting the perspective. If I live to be 5000 years old, I'll never have the writing skills to express my gratitude. But none of us have that kind of time, so here goes . . .

Everyone who worked with great energy behind the scenes to organize and make this happen, everyone who showed up and gladly handed their money over at the door, everyone who filled up their tank at to drive from another state or the opposite side of this one, everyone who couldn't be there but figured out another way to contribute, everyone who took time out of their day to figure out what what they could donate to the dinner or auction, everyone who stayed up late or got up early to work on their donations, everyone who went out of their way to spread the word, everyone who emailed or called to ask what they could do, everyone who paid a lot more for auction items than they were worth, everyone who heard about Jacque and was moved and decided to get involved . . . to all you 'everyones', you're who I'm thinking about as I write this.

On the Saturday day-before, I was riding around on my bike, doing errands for the event. I picked up a helmet at REI, because it was a no-brainer (pardon the sick pun) that Jacque's parents should donate a safety item for this auction. I rode back downtown and dropped it off at the Wild Sage. There weren't open yet, but Tom was there, and I talked to him for a bit, and there was this really weird anticipatory aura there. It was totally relaxed and totally poised for something big. The calm before the storm. Like he had a big secret about how great this was gonna be. Patty had noticed the same thing in her conversations and visits with Tom. I saddled up and headed off to my next stop - Staples on Ruby and Buckeye.

I was headed there to pick up a digital voice recorder. The grand idea I had was that I was gonna use it to help me remember the names of everyone that showed up on Sunday. See, I have the most terrible, embarassing memory for names, and I wanted to change that, just this once, and be able to somehow be able to list and publicly thank everyone who showed up. Unfortunately, we weren't five minutes into the event when I realized what a dramatically flawed plan I had conceived. I can make you a fantastic deal on a voice recorder, if you are interested.

Next stop was my folks. MAD (Mom And Dad). They're in their 80's. My mom has MS and because that wasn't enough, she had a stroke. Every day is some sort of challenge for them and they're on the one-day-at-a-time plan. But they cope. And a lot of times they do it with a great sense of humor, like on this occasion: There's no way they could possibly, physically, attend an event like this. Mom asks about the donation. I tell her $25 a person at the door. She gives him the eye, and Dad pulls out his wallet and hands me $25. Mom says, "That only covers one person." Homebody Dad says, "I was planning to send you by yourself!" Then, after the laugh, they provide another $100 so that Jacque can have some spending money when we travel to a cousin's wedding next weekend. This kind of generosity is not "special-occasion" for them. It's how they live their lives.

It's getting awfully sappy in here, especially for the guys. It all needs to be said, but I realize it's hard on you and I appreciate that you are hanging in there. I promise to overcompensate and write only goofy drivel for the next week. Maybe something about monster trucks or hunting. But for now, bear with me . . .

To Tom and David and Gary and the crew at the Wild Sage:

There is absolutely, positively, no way this could have happened without your resources and energy. Or to say it another way, no one else could have pulled this off. You know it and I want you to know that I know it. But not only did you pull it off, you pulled it off EXQUISITELY! I know you're not in the business of packing your restaurant to the standing-room-only gills, or running silent auctions, but you guys are all about the customer experience, whether it's 15 or 150, and you do it better than anyone else. 'Thank you' doesn't even come close, but 'thank you'. Patty is also extremely grateful and wanted me to forward this message:

"Chef Alexa, Tom and the Wild Sage crew and company, we are truely grateful to you for creating such a wonderful space where so many Jacque fans showed their love. The auction and buffet were run beautifully! The guest list was amazingly vibrant and we felt honored to greet so many generous folks. Friends and family, Please enjoy the photos from one of the most memorable evenings ever! We thank you for being a part of this community effort and especially for your relationship with Jacque and all that you give her. Many Thanks and Blessings. Patty"



To all the guests and donors:

You'd be listed here, on an honor roll, if only my sad voice recorder plan hadn't hopelessly failed me. But the numbers were just too overwhelming. And it was obviously destined to be something more than just a bunch of individuals filling a room (or list). It morphed into a higher-order human experience. The idea that this diverse assembled bunch of people were there because of their common desire to help Jacque struck us really hard and so I'd like to list the independent groups that came together and then united into one Jacque-mass:

Family & friends, on Patty's side
Family & friends, on Pat Sweet's (dad) side
Family & friends, on Pat Sprute's (step-dad) side
Wild Sage owners, managers, and co-workers
Other Spokane restaurants and workers (most of them being previous employers)
Shriners friends of Patty's
Deaconess friends of Pat Sweet's
Spokane bicycle friends
Those who didn't have a connection but were moved by her story and became involved

It's really hard to describe what you feel as a parent when you see so many people stop everything they are doing to make the trip into downtown to honor and support your daughter. We are so very, very overwhelmed and grateful!



And now, at long last, the moment you've been waiting for - the one where I stop talking!

I leave you with the following message from Jacque:

"The power of people is truly amazing. I am almost left speechless from the success of the ‘Fix Jacque’s Face Feed’ last Sunday at the Wild Sage. My feeling can be best described as ‘high on life’ literally from the energy I encapsulated from all of the people who have stepped up and showed so much compassion to my current situation. I am honored and blessed to have so many beautiful family and friends, friends of family and friends of friends! The chain reaction of love proven on that Sunday was one that blew me away and changed my life forever. Thank you to everyone who shared such genuine acts of kindness towards my benefit and may you be surrounded by the same grace during personal times of need."

THANK YOU! From the Bottom of Our Hearts!

I'll start off with this: Jacque stopped by the Wild Sage today. Everybody was all smiles as she walked through the door. The immediate question they had for her was, "any guess?" She knew what they were talking about. "Five thousand?", was her reply.

The grins got bigger and without a word, they held up nine fingers.

Ninety-two-hundred-dollars! And counting!!!

I'm sleep deprived and emotionally fried. I have a bunch more pictures and words and people to specifically thank, but not tonight. I just have this thought . . .

The dollar amount is really important right now, because bills and debt are scary and real, and the people that took care of her need to be taken care of. We are so incredibly thankful for their compassion and care.

We are also so incredibly grateful for your contribution.

But this event, this movement, is not just about money, it's a testament to communtity and friends and love. And if you don't feel good enough about what you've done already, you need to know that you've made a profound impact on her life and that whatever you've given her will be multiplied many times and passed on. Bold talk, but I just know that it's true.

Jacque and her grandpa. Totally real.

We sincerely mean it when we say "thanks".

Pat & Patty

Fixing Jacque

Jacque (pronounced "Jackie") is my step-daughter. I married her mom when Jacque was 10, and helped raise her. We've been through a lot together and we respect each other a lot. She's 26 now, and out on her own. She lives in Browne's Addition, works at the Wild Sage downtown, and goes to school at the Falls. She's got a bachelor's degree from Western and is now working on prereqs so that she can get into a nursing program. She'd like to do that in Seattle and was just getting ready to move there later this summer. She's a beautiful, vibrant, capable, independent young lady who's loads of fun to be around. She's cares a lot about people and is going to make a difference in a lot of lives before she is done. We're seriously proud of her.



She's made a conscious decision to not own a car, and travels by bike and longboard, mainly. Unfortunately, as she was riding that very bike, her life did a 180 on Sunday, June 1. We were already in bed when we got a call at 10:30 pm letting us know that she had been in a serious accident downtown. That's the worst kind of phone call you can get as a parent, and a moment you will never forget.


A super-fun night at the Deaconess ER was followed by an even super-funnner next day of surgery to remove all the teeth that were broken off, along with fragments of bone from her shattered jaw. Oh, dont' forget to sew the upper lip back together. From a couple of comments the doctor made, I think there was a period of time during surgery that he wasn't sure he was going to be able to put her back together right, but he did, and he did an awesome job. Thank you, Dr. Higuchi.

She did a full-on face plant into the asphalt on 1st Ave, just outside of Dempsey's. Sarah and Crystal, thanks for taking such good care of your friend . . . you guys did everthing right. And there was a guy who stopped to help and I will never know who you are or get to say this in person, but "Thank You".

Here's the full damage report:


Concussion (out cold for about 30 seconds)
Eight front teeth lost
Broken upper and lower jaw
Broken nose
Upper lip lacerated completely through
Impressive facial road rash


She has no health insurance and so in a period of less than 24 hours, she was instantly tens of thousands of dollars in debt, out of a job, and her dream of moving to Seattle vanished. Not to mention the serious hit to her looks and love life. That's a lot of loss to deal with at once.


But guess what? If you take a close look, there's fabulous Mom-and-Dad news here: No brain injury and no spinal injury. I say a little prayer of thanksgiving every day.


It's been five weeks and she's made tremendous progress. Her jaw's been wired shut the whole time, but she lives a super-healthy lifestyle and I think that's made a huge difference in her recovery. (You wouldn't believe how fast her face healed.) That and her positive attitude, which has blown me away. Not that she doesn't have her moments, as you would expect.

As for me, I'm not doing so well. Thousands of dollars of orthodonture work, down the drain. I cry a lot, sometimes at the most awkward moments.


Check out this smile:

I know you want to know what happened. Me too. I talked to her friends, who were riding ahead of her and didn't see the crash. I had to take a trip downtown to see where it happened, to get clues, to piece it all together, to try and make some sense of it. I saw a lot of dried blood in the street where she crashed and more on the curb where she ended up after her friends helped her get out of the street. But there was no smoking-gun-of-a-rut in the street, no car involved, no one to blame things on. She was riding her bike, maybe got a bit too careless, a bit too complacent about all that potential energy that you generate when you're riding down the street, maybe taking the mystery of staying upright on two skinny wheels a bit too "for-granted". She doesn't remember anything, but something happened that affected her balance and changed everything in a split second. In my mind I've reconciled it as a freak accident. Unfortunately, shit does happen. And apparently, sometimes it happens to really good people.

There's some great news here, though. The Wild Sage has stepped up in a big way and organized a fundraiser for Jacque. A bunch of other people and establishments have jumped on board and it's grown from a low-key buffet dinner to a gala event complete with silent auction. Terrific people that totally restore my faith in humanity have stepped forward to donate auction items and find out what they can do to help. I'm especially grateful to Tom at the Wild Sage for organizing this event. It's gonna be quite a party. You're invited and we don't have any expectations, but we would be most honored and grateful if you were to happen to show up.

Here are the details: Help Fix Jacque. We would be delighted if you could join us in celebrating Jacque's recovery.