Monday, April 21, 2014

Big 'N Little

(The following blogpost is being intentionally presented in gender-neutral format, so as not to hinder your imaginative freedom.)

B:  "Hey."
L:  "Whattup?  Can I call you Big?"
B:  "Just hangin'.  And sure.  If I can call you Little.  So whattup with you, Little?"

L:  "My rider person wants to dump me.  Totally blows."
B:  "Feel your pain, Little.  Me and my rider person, I thought we were seriously down.  I feel like a chump saying this now, but at one point in our relationship I couldn't have even fathomed pondering the question that I am now compelled to ask, which is, How Deep Is Your Love?"
L:  " Yeahs, I know. I'm starting to see how it is, though.  You put your ALL into the relationship and this is what you are left with.  At this point, I'm left to wonder, How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?"
B:  "Isn't that a song or something?"
L:  "Wha??"
B:  "Nevermind."
B:  "So whadya do?  For work?"
L:  "Well, it's not steady, but when I can get it, I devour tarmac and spit it out my ass.  You?"
[B spends several, long, awkward moments processing this crudely-presented foreign concept, this alternate reality.  At long last, he/she does the best he/she can.]
B:  "So . . . does your rider person ride you . . . fast?"
L:  "Never fast enough.  Always blames it on me, though."
B:  "Harsh.  Sorry, Little.  If it makes you feel any better, my rider person could stand to lose more than a few pounds, but always blames it on me."
L:  "Figures.  These rider persons . . . they're all the same."
B:  "You know, . . . I'm in this support group . ."
L:  [Abruptly cuts Big off] . . . "I don't have time for that bullshit!"
B:  "Sorry."
B:  "Little, uhh, can I just say, that, uhh . . . you're kinda sexy, in your own way."
L:  [Blush]  "Funny.  I was just thinking the same thing about you."
B:  "Hey, you wanna hang out for a while?"

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Spokane Bike Swap

I hung out there all weekend, with Glen, John, Matt and Justin.  At the Elephant And Friends booth.  I unloaded a buncha gear and to my credit, the only thing I acquired was a few pics . . .

No, it did not sell.
My dreams of pedaling feathery carbon fiber machinery acrost the tops of clouds will remain dreams, then.
For now.

None of the other fats sold, either.

Justin, attending to some merchandising fine details.

Eric (L).  Elephant And Friends' best customer, hands down. 

John and I are pretty sure we saw Hank escorting a fancy, late model, two-niner, double boinger rig through the swap exit and towards his car.  Hmm.  Just in front of the 24 hour race at Riverside.  Jeez, like that guy really needs to get any faster.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014


If the last post was not your thing, just disregard this one.

But if it in any way stirred your soul, this slideshow will probably bump the needle on your tach by at least a coupla hundred rpm's.

Jeez, it's totally redlined mine.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Orcas Island Getaway

Designed specifically for your viewing pleasure, what follows is a four-part, easily-digestible summary of the bike-centric high adventure that was had over these last four days.  A vastly more descriptive and thoughtful account is here.

1. Ferry Wait

2. Camp

Camp was hard.  Only hard men could accommodate the particularly harsh elements that we faced.  Day after day.  After day.

(Meanwhile, Betsy waited out these boyish antics at the Rosario Resort.)

Mr. Speare sure knows how to wrangle the camp grub, does he ever.

Hydration station.

Clean, wild beasts, waiting to be tamed.  And dirtied.

3. Actual Riding

Purely gratuitous porn shot.  Forgive me.  We do love our bikes, don't we.

Business end of an ungulate.  One of about a thousand (ungulates, not ungulate butts) we saw over the course of two days on the island.

Mr. Eberly, obviously enjoying the 4.4 mile casual-jaunt-of-a-climb to the top of Mt. Constitution.

Or maybe he actually felt like this.  Or wait, maybe that was me.  (It was me.)

Mt. Constitution would offer us none of its fine views on this fogged in day.

But we didn't give a krap.  We were here to ride, bitches!

Betsy directed my attention towards this fine stand of trees.  As a diversion, I now understand . . .

. . . so that she could jump-start her descent and leave me eating the mud from her tires.  Women.

On the second day, we were treated to these scarce views, just under the cloud cover.

And we only had to climb our asses off and then ride to the very edge of death, to get them.
The investment in this trip was substantial, but the riding was just fantastic.  All of it.

As I get older, and time and energy get more and more scarce, I am so very willing to sacrifice quantity for quality.  Damn, did this trip ever nail that priority.

4. Other

Waiting in the Orcas Medical Center while Betsy got X-Rayed and checked out by the "best doctor in the history of the universe!"  So grateful that her injury wasn't worse . . . not sure how we'd have all gotten off the side of that gnarly mountain.  That said, it's a badass sprain and I wish you a quick recovery, Bets.  Jeez, you rocked this whole gig so hard.  I am in awe.

Bikes were righteously dirtied, in the end.

There may be certain reports filtering through about how a certain group of hardass dudes took refuge in a cush hotel that offered Wi-fi and good beers on tap.  Those reports are patently false. 

Sunday, March 23, 2014

One Hundred One Point Seven

21.3 all road, all city miles.  And just like that, I'm over the top and in bike shape.  Pow!

Right.  But I do think it delivered the modicum of fitness I was after.  Plus, it was kinda fun (in a hurtful way).

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Eighty Point Four

42.2 long, slow, all-road miles.  I toured this fine town under some crazy afternoon light due to an overcast sky and a sun that almost, but couldn't quite burn through.  And hey, there's now some hope that this thing could actually get done.

Loves me some mo' trains.

But the ride was more than just a sightseeing tour, actually.  I haven't commuted for a very long time and I want to start again.  I had to go in to work today to get a few things done and this was the perfect opportunity for a commute dry run.

One of the things that has changed for me since I last commuted is that on most days now, I have to lug a laptop back and forth.  I'm kinda burned out on panniers for now (lots of rackage, and fussiness with hooking and unhooking and having to mess with them when I get on and off the bus, how they affect the handling, etc).  Mr. Speare has been going on and on about the Ortlieb backpack solution, so I picked up a Velocity recently and gave it a try today.  And I'll tell you what, the folks at Ortlieb sure have their ergonomics dialed in, IMO.  I rode around with my computer and some other stuff in there all afternoon and it felt much lighter than it's actual weight.  And the waterproof part isn't even a question, of course.  The only thing I didn't like was that the corner of the rolled top is right in my line of sight when I turn around and look behind me, which kinda sucks.  I found that by taking one hand off the bars, I could rotate my shoulders and get it out of the way, for the most part.  But what a PITA.  Maybe some strap adjustment would help some.  We shall see.