I've been spending some quality time with my Secret Bike over the last several days.
Just so you don't go down the wrong road here, it's a time trial bike . . . it's for going fast, by yourself, for a short time. Please don't confuse it with a triathlon bike, which looks similar but is for going fast, by yourself, for insanely long periods of time and is used by guys who, ummm, march to a little different drummer. Like Joe and John. You won't catch me on a tri bike.
Anyway, the quality time I'm talking about is not like stroking the downtube or caressing the aerodynamic curves or anything creepy like that. It's just about going through it mechanically and then shaking it down and making sure nothing falls off while you're riding and then setting it up so that your knees don't hit your chin when you are riding in that freaky fetal position.
The art of time trialing is so simple it makes me want to go back to kindergarten. Refer to the picture below:
The device on the right is a tachometer, except your heart is the engine. Just rev it up almost to redline (the point where your engine blows up), and hold it there. The other data on the left is meaningless, but intended to distract you from the fact that your engine is about to blow up.
I'm reminded of a commercial about how "this is your brain" and "this is your brain on [aero bars]". Any questions?