Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Ronde Van Palouse

There's a new kind of bike race coming to town. It's not like it's never been done here, but it's been a damn long time, so it's as good as new.

It's a Roubaix, and we're overdue here in Spo. "Roubaix is the new Cyclocross." I just made that up, but I think I'm dead nuts on. It will hurt you so good. It happens just after Easter, so you can eat chocolate all the way through Lent and then do all your penance retroactively and condensed. I'm pretty sure that's the texbook definition of Purgatory, which is exactly what we're talking about here.

You ride a road bike, 'cause if you do it on a cross bike, you'll get killed. You might mount up some 25's, or you might do it on your normal 23's. This particular 23-mile loop, done multiple times, has 4 miles of soggy dirt roads and is littered with endless, demoralizing rollers. It's suitable only for hard boys and girls and I will be fantasizing between now and then about the hard girls.

Here are a coupla preview shots:

My favorite bike club is hosting, so watch their website or the WSBA calendar for details. Then get ready to show up and throw up.

Here's the map.

The schedule rocks: You can fry your early-season brain and body at Frozen Flatlands on Apr 3-4. Then, on the following weekend, you can drag your un-recovered mangled self out to the RVP on Sat, then get up at the butt-crack-of-dawn and load your wasted bike and self into a car and drive your sorry ass over for the Rocky Mt Roubaix on Sun and get your massive roubaix fix in on one epic weekend. After that whole deal, the whole rest of the racing season will seem like a walk in the park.


FBC Spokane said...

Now I'm sad.

Alan said...

I've ridden the Ronde Van Palouse route twice last year, previewing if it would work as a course. It's going to be an amazing race because it's got a sweet "yin and yang" about it: The washboards are actually smooth, the gravel not too deep, and there's very few potholes; that's contrasted by the endless rollers along the paved sections that almost made me cry.

This race is going to be hard. And awesome.

Pat S said...

FBC, I'll bite. Why so sad?

Alan, the course rocks. And yeah, the rollers are ridiculous.

BTW, don't let me discourage anyone from racing with a 'cross bike . . . if that's what you've got, it'll work just fine. But the majority of the course is asphalt, so you'll want to run road tires.

Anonymous said...

I would highly recommend Mt.bikes for everyone.

Anonymous said...

If Roubaix is the new cyclocross, is Spangle the new Paris?

Anonymous said...

FBC is sad because Pat's favorite bike club is Rocket Velo.

But Pat meant to say that Rocket Velo was his favorite SOBER bike club.

FBC is, of course, everyone's favorite alcoholic bike club.


FBC Spokane said...

It's a good thing that anonymous comment set me straight or I would still be sad. Thanks Anonymous.

Pat S said...

13-b122: Thank you for your valuable contribution. Yes, I'm sure you would.

Anon #1: Spangle. Paris. Paris. Spangle. Sparis. Pangle. Anglis. It's a good thought and I'm trying. It just feels weird.

Anon #2: Is your day job a hostage negotiator? Because your mediation skills are beyond real. Are you perhaps available on an on-call basis to help out with certain marital misunderstandings? "Patty, what Pat meant to say was . . . "

FBC: Does this mean my lifetime member for life membership has expired?

RJ said...

Heyyy, that looks like a grain elevator in WALLA WALLA. ;)

Anonymous said...

Excellent Pat. RVP is going to separate the men from the boys (and the women from the girls). Alan you can try and be yin-yang poetic if you want, make no mistake, this race will hurt you. As for bike choice, it will be interesting to see what people decide to bring. There's only 4 miles of gravel on the 23 mile course. Mountain bikes and 'cross bikes will take a lot of extra work to motivate in those good ol' palouse rollers. I'm riding my road bike, probably with 22mm puncture resistant tubies, but maybe 25's if the roads are muddy.


Anonymous said...

I hope roubaix doesn't have all those tiresome cyclocross rules.

I'll be leading a team of 'bent trike riders.