What 'N Tarnation Happened Tonight?

John's weekly bike hang was going all good, I thought. Until the checks came and suddenly everyone at our table went for their REI credit cards like cowboys drawing their pistols.

You've heard of the Stepford Housewives. Meet the REI Automatons:



They totally went off . . . espousing the benefits of membership, and spewing the terms and conditions of their agreements. I need to reiterate that this came out of f'ing nowhere.

Patty and I, ummm, "needed to get going". Creeped us the hell out.