Wednesday, July 21, 2010

i Heart Sprague In The Valley

Crazy talk, I know. You're like, "Last straw, dumbass. I've wasted countless minutes here and finally I have the excuse I need. I'm so done with your blog."

But hear me out.

Couple or 3 weeks ago I was on my way to work and I had this rad idea for a new shortcut that totally didn't pan out and in fact dumped me out on Sprague with no option but to ride down it.

I'm talking the general vicinity between University and Evergreen. Valleyway is the cat's meow, right? That's what I thought. Secondary arterial, low traffic, bike BUSINESS.

Not so fast keemosabi, it kinda sucks. A million 4-way stops, and crossing Pines can mess you up bad. I need to get to work.

Sprague, OTOH? Serious shit. All the loser streets have to stop for this mofu. Once you're on board the groove train, you roll hard and fast.

Thing is, traffic on Sprague is a bitch, but the other thing is that Sprague is a retail corridor and nobody retail even wakes up before nine. So you have the whole damn thing to yourself if you're riding to work at like any kind of hour that is like closer to morning than like afternoon.

I'll take a way different way home, so I can say this: "Bite me, shoppers. And thank you for letting me use your road this and every other morning."


Anonymous said...


alex wetmore said...

I feel the same way about Lake City Way in Seattle. Get on it between 6 and 7 and you can fly with no traffic and no stops.

Coming home on it sucks.

John Speare said...

True dat Pat. Mr Snyder swears by taking Sprague. I take it on the way to work, but I take the chill way home. Snyder doesn't chill. He doesn't have time. So he takes Sprague.

Anonymous said...

Sprague muthafuckas could give a shit about traffic
We pump and grind our style's kinda pornographic
Shoppers better not step you'll get spent like plastic
Yo, that's my cell, it's my bitch, fantastic!

"Hi dear. I'm on Sprague. Get milk at Freddies? OK. Yes, yes I know: nonfat. Love you too, honey. Mwah!"

Where were we?