Sunday, April 21, 2013

Redundancy


When you're planning a trip into no-man's land, it's important to have backup systems in place. Let me just make that statement, and let you just hold that thought for a minute.

So okay. Since last September, I've lost about 30 lbs, not to be confused with LBS (that would be crazy talk, I don't even know what that sentence would mean . . . we don't have 30 LBS in this town, so how could I lose them all, and then some?? Beats me!).

Anyway, I wanted to lose 50, but those last 20 right above the upper end of the stupid-ass BMI are just mothers, so I doubt they will ever happen.  But 30 is good, and genuinely lets me go up hills way more faster, which I seriously dig, and therefore my main objective in life, weight-management-wise, is to not give a single one of the 30 back.

This next part is gonna sound stupid, but bear with me: A super-important element of my take-it-off-keep-it-off program has been the judicious application of Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce, or what is known around our house as just plain Rooster Sauce, to a large percentage of what I eat. The thing is, low-cal food can be kinda bland. And I like to live a little, and Rooster Sauce make that possible. It's that simple.



There is a whole 'nother element of Rooster Sauce weight management strategy that is generally only whispered about in hushed tones and that involves liberal application of said sauce on those occasions where the "train has gone off the tracks", and it is necessary to "flush the system". This would be outside the scope of our current conversation, to be clear.

So, armed with this vital information, as you now are, I suspect you can see how important it is for me to "pack heat" on my upcoming trip. It's not that I will need to be spicing up a low-cal diet, it's more that Rooster Sauce is now a way of life for me and I'm in fear of a future without it. I'm not especially proud of this statement, but honesty is the cornerstone of 26InchSlicks, as you well know.

Yes, you have to scuff up the plastic with sandpaper if you want your sharpie text to "stick".
A lesson from the school of hard knocks.


If you've done a trip like this, you know it's all about the balance of what you can afford to take and what you can afford to leave behind. If you haven't, well, trust me. 'Nuff said, then.

6 comments:

Not said...

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/sriracha

Pat S said...

"Napalming the jungle." Righteous.

Jonathan Eberly said...

Pat, as someone who obsessively carries a container of dried, ground habaneros with me, I completely understand. I meal without heat is like an egg without salt. Blegh!

A Midnight Rider said...

I have often heard that spicy food suppress' our appetite. 30 lbs is quite and accomplishment.

Rooster Logburn said...

"Like an egg without salt" is such a nice turn phrase.

But I put spiracha on my eggs!

And on my salt.

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