This is non-bikey, but so weird that I can't not post about it. I know we kid around a lot, but this is no shit . . .
A coupla years ago, Patty got an heirloon lilac start at some event she went to. She potted it and has been tending to it ever since. Just yesterday, she was looking at it, admiring how well it was doing. It was probably 30 or 36" tall.
This afternoon, she was putting out some stuff we're donating to ARC for collection tomorrow and noticed this:
So sometime overnight or during today, someone walked up on our front porch, cut down our fledgling lilac bush, and then walked back down the steps with it, out the sidewalk and down the street. Or maybe there was a getaway car involved. If ever there was a situation that begged for a front porch webcam, this is it.
The cuts are very clean. Surgical even. Someone who takes great pride in their pruning shears. There are other lilac bushes in the immediate vicinity that were left untouched.
Part of me wants to be pissed, but I'm just too freakin' bewildered. I couldn't imagine this happening in a zillion years of imagining. And I have questions:
Should I call the cops and ask them to put out an APB for our missing branches?
Maybe I should cruise the pawn shops?
How long were they casing our joint, and if the crime was committed after dark, did they use night vision goggles to spot our valuables?
Should I call in to the Phyllis Stephens radio show this saturday and ask if she knows of any master gardners with criminal backgrounds?
This has to be an inside job. As in a neighborhood nutjob. I'm having a hard time imagining someone road-tripping from Northwood to cruise South Hill neighborhoods looking for sprigs to kipe. Although anything is possible at this point. But assuming I'm right, there's a possibility that we could run across the re-planted shoots during a stroll through the 'hood. If the perpetrator turns out to be an old lady, should I punch her out?
I don't ask much of you, or anything, really. But I could sure use some help putting a theory together on this one.