Sometimes your bike life takes you into the dark world of sewing. A sewing class is on my bucket list, but it's nowhere near the top. I might get to it at about year 102. I know the many tricks of the trade might make this form of witchcraft less evil, but it will always be evil to me. Unfortunately, there are times when no amount of tape and cable ties will do, so you have to bite the bullet.
The first thing that I can tell you is that there is not enough light in the world to put thread through the eye of a needle. Maybe when I was eighteen. Certainly not now. Bring me something halogen please. And if there is any way to sew with something reasonably substantial, like say twine or rope, please let me know sooner rather than later.
There's been a fair amount of time that has elapsed since I wrote the previous part of this post. At that time, I was in a reasonably optimistic mood. Things have gone from worse to bad and I am defeated for tonight. There are people who do this shit for a living and right now I would gladly pay them obscene amounts of money. Or maybe there is a certain amount of tape and cable ties that will do the trick after all. WTF-ever. Arrgghh.
Deep breath. Exhale. Chill. Wait for new day.