Monday, April 21, 2014

Big 'N Little

(The following blogpost is being intentionally presented in gender-neutral format, so as not to hinder your imaginative freedom.)

B:  "Hey."
L:  "Whattup?  Can I call you Big?"
B:  "Just hangin'.  And sure.  If I can call you Little.  So whattup with you, Little?"

L:  "My rider person wants to dump me.  Totally blows."
B:  "Feel your pain, Little.  Me and my rider person, I thought we were seriously down.  I feel like a chump saying this now, but at one point in our relationship I couldn't have even fathomed pondering the question that I am now compelled to ask, which is, How Deep Is Your Love?"
L:  " Yeahs, I know. I'm starting to see how it is, though.  You put your ALL into the relationship and this is what you are left with.  At this point, I'm left to wonder, How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?"
B:  "Isn't that a song or something?"
L:  "Wha??"
B:  "Nevermind."
B:  "So whadya do?  For work?"
L:  "Well, it's not steady, but when I can get it, I devour tarmac and spit it out my ass.  You?"
[B spends several, long, awkward moments processing this crudely-presented foreign concept, this alternate reality.  At long last, he/she does the best he/she can.]
B:  "So . . . does your rider person ride you . . . fast?"
L:  "Never fast enough.  Always blames it on me, though."
B:  "Harsh.  Sorry, Little.  If it makes you feel any better, my rider person could stand to lose more than a few pounds, but always blames it on me."
L:  "Figures.  These rider persons . . . they're all the same."
B:  "You know, . . . I'm in this support group . ."
L:  [Abruptly cuts Big off] . . . "I don't have time for that bullshit!"
B:  "Sorry."
B:  "Little, uhh, can I just say, that, uhh . . . you're kinda sexy, in your own way."
L:  [Blush]  "Funny.  I was just thinking the same thing about you."
B:  "Hey, you wanna hang out for a while?"

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Spokane Bike Swap

I hung out there all weekend, with Glen, John, Matt and Justin.  At the Elephant And Friends booth.  I unloaded a buncha gear and to my credit, the only thing I acquired was a few pics . . .

No, it did not sell.
My dreams of pedaling feathery carbon fiber machinery acrost the tops of clouds will remain dreams, then.
For now.

None of the other fats sold, either.

Justin, attending to some merchandising fine details.

Eric (L).  Elephant And Friends' best customer, hands down. 

John and I are pretty sure we saw Hank escorting a fancy, late model, two-niner, double boinger rig through the swap exit and towards his car.  Hmm.  Just in front of the 24 hour race at Riverside.  Jeez, like that guy really needs to get any faster.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014


If the last post was not your thing, just disregard this one.

But if it in any way stirred your soul, this slideshow will probably bump the needle on your tach by at least a coupla hundred rpm's.

Jeez, it's totally redlined mine.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014