To be clear: I did not put the baby in the dog bowl. The baby put the baby in the dog bowl. Therefore, I am not a baby killer, and that's the main thing I need you to know. By the time I got there, the baby was dead. If the baby had been struggling, I don't know what I would have done, but my fear is that I might have been compelled to save the baby. Holy hell, I'm so glad the baby was already dead. As it is, I gleefully tossed the baby out with the bathwater, and predict that I will sleep just fine tonight.